Destination Happiness
Image by: Kiana Nelson @kianashine
Chasing destination happiness can be a never-ending story if you don’t create your own happiness in your present situation. That “I’ll be happy once I do this or have that” mentality is an ongoing journey that will end in you never finding true happiness.
We’ve all been there if we honestly admit it. “I’ll be happy when I get this degree.” “I’ll be happy when I land this job.” “I’ll be happy when I meet that right person.” “I’ll be happy when I make a certain amount of money.” I’ve seen it happen time and time again; that person reaches their personal goal and they still aren’t completely satisfied or content with themselves. Now I will continuously give this advisory- I DO NOT HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT nor do I ever want to come across as though I think I do. However, this blog’s purpose is simply to disclose what I’ve learned along this journey called life.
One principle concept that I refer to daily, (in the mirror talking to myself, giving advice, etc.) is that we must all find some happiness from within in the present. My God that’s a loaded, simple concept-huh?
One thing my dad always reiterates to me is that all we have is right now, all we have is the gift of the present. If you become consumed in what I call destination happiness you will never truly be happy because you have already made it up in your mind that your happiness lies somewhere beyond the present moment. If we base our happiness on a person, position, amount of money or anything that can frivolously enter or exit or lives, imagine how easily it will be for us to drown in an abyss of depression if that person or thing is taken away.
Transparent moment alert!
Let me introduce you to a young lady in the prime of her life. It’s 2014 and she has joined the organization of her dreams, graduated college and is overlooking one of the most scenic views in the world, Victoria’s Peak in Hong Kong. She crossed off all of these goals in her 2013-2014 planner, but still was feeling empty, unhappy, and unfulfilled with life. Yup, that was me three years ago, on the trip of a lifetime, but stressing about the next check box in my planner- my career. I look back in photos from that trip and yes I’m smiling in every picture, but I remember how every night I laid in my hotel room agonizing over what was next. I agonized everyday over what I would do as soon as I got back to the states. I agonized over what I should’ve done better, what I could’ve been doing instead of being in Hong Kong at the moment, and what I needed to do to ensure I reached my career goals when I got home. I totally ignored the fact that just weeks ago I was stressing over whether or not I would be able to afford to go to Hong Kong. I totally ignored the fact that just mere weeks ago I said to myself, “I’ll be happy once this final exam is over and I graduate.” I perpetually set myself up for failure each time I set a goal up that was supposed to magically deliver happiness into my life. If I could go back and talk to myself in those moments, I would advise younger me to embrace the moment, be still and take in every bit of happiness that can be found in where I was in that exact space in time.
Fast forward to the present; life has taught me to find my happiness from within and in the gift of the present. I used to be the type to overly complain about the most minuscule things that could easily be considered “first world problems.” Now, the older I get I am grateful for some of the things I consider problems that others would be grateful to have as “problems.”
A reliance on my faith in God, self-awareness, a sense of gratefulness, and a solid support system are the building blocks I’ve used to build on my foundation of happiness through whatever storm life throws my way. Once a solid foundation is built utilizing these building blocks (or whatever you need personally), you have a fool-proof blueprint to realizing your unconditional happiness. Your building blocks may not necessarily be the same building blocks I needed. You have to analyze your core values and what factors equal to your happiness to assess your blueprint to building unconditional happiness. We always hear people talk about unconditional love- that love for someone that never fades no matter the circumstance. But what does it take to find unconditional happiness? We all know those people who seem to brush stuff off of their shoulders with a little bit more ease than others. We all know those people whose response to “How are you?” is always “I can’t complain.” even if they’ve had a terrible day. I’m under the belief that we could all be those people who deliberately find happiness from within and in the present moment if we really makes strides to do so.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
So don’t think I’m crazy if you see me take a noticeable minute to take in the beauty of a moment. Don’t judge me if you run across some Being Mary Jane reminiscent,self-affirming sticky notes tucked away in random places. I have decided to be happy with myself in my current circumstances. Everyday I’m learning that every simple saying you heard repeatedly from your grandparents, parents and just wise old folks is undoubtedly true.
Tomorrow isn’t promised.
The present is a present.